25 December of the 2011.

Good day, my friends. So how's Christmas is for you? In Indonesia, we had already celebrated Christmas nine hours ago. But still, I bid a you a very nice Christmas. Don't be a loner like me, I guarantee you that it'll slice your heart to pieces.

You won't know what happen today in 2011. 

Apparently, I don't feel any joy comes from Christmas even though I am one of the believers. Do take a heed on this one, friends. I am believer but I don't feel joy.

Every year, I probably celebrate Christmas with my family, going out for dinner or playing at the some places. But that change whole. I am now since 4 years ago, alone at home; or rather, with a computer and internet. That's for sure. I envy my friends who still had the chances to go to the church to their heart's content and surely I envy them for not being me.

I don't really feel empty back then, but I don't know why; it feels different today. As if that back years aren't exist to make me realize that this is not normal. Alone at home and playing computer while celebrating something important? That is, normal for me. Or normal for some of you guys, no?

Every time I think about Christmas these days ... I feel that those who come to praise God and saying they are in joy for His arrival in the world ... are some hypocrites. What about their ramblings on how sad they are for their problems? Does that mean they are feeling joy for His arrival? I don't understand myself but ... I can't feel this, intriguing feeling every time they ask me to go to the church so we--they and I can celebrate Christmas together. 

It's as if they are forcing themselves to invite us to join them. 

I probably should tell you more about my experience with some Christians. But that will take some more time to write. It'll be a hella alot of words in the post.

So I rather save it for next time.

... Okay then, Merry Christmas to you all!