Could you imagine yourself 15 years later?

SHINee - Sherlock

Firstly, I have to can, and I will be very willingly to make it real. My teacher who is in charged at psychology department in my school have asked us (the students and me, obviously) to listen and write what we could apprehend from hearing a soundtrack that she had prepared for us. Obviously, I have lost interest on the lesson, but the melody was very sweet and that gave me some time to think about my future.


What kind of future that I will get, actually? I promised you, that it is extraordinary for me, but it might not for you people. After all, our future are something special to each of us and none of them are going to be so obviously similar. Psychology speaking, most humans wanted the acknowledgement on the feeling in which their matters (both problems, or even wishes) are the most important, comparing to the other people, so by reading this one, you have to not complain that what I will write in here is not something ridiculous. Pinky swear? Then read more.



I have the feeling that I could get outside of Indonesia, my beloved country. I wanted to try my first step on taking the Singaporean scholarship, school-based, but I failed at the first examination (oh, man, I have always hated math so much that it made me failed, quite miserably), and then I will try again at the Singaporean ASEAN-based scholarship in which, required me to gamble quite much. I have gotten myself so many suggestions and wise things about the scholarship from a friend of mine in my Twitter (thanks kak Karin!) and I think I might fail on this one too. 


Well, I have gotten myself to move on from my last failure (you-know-what-scholarship-test) and started to think another plan. I have always interested in learning Dutch and German, so latter if my my parents have raised from the ash and could provide me money, I will take tutor in their embassies in Jakarta. Thank God that I am raised in Jakarta.


But the point of those struggles and heartbeating moments are for me to get my future to the European land. I knew, an Asian (in addition: Math not-obsessed) like me could get a very hard time (and good well-experience) in there, and to EVEN be there is a very hard thing to do. 


I dreamed that I was in German. Or Dutch, in his Lisse, or even his Keukenhof, standing proudly that I was graduated from there, learned about art infrastructure or even technical computer, and lived a wealthy and healthy family there. I could imagine my highest priority--that is to make my parents live happily--succeeded. 


I know I can. And pray tell me that I can, and will to do it. Behind these words, you and I know that there are uncountable amount of fear of having this dream.